Today I had a “Punch Biopsy” to try to find out what’s wrong with me. Blood tests etc aren’t really showing anything, at least nothing I’ve been told about, so this looks like the only way. You get a local anaesthetic, and it does not hurt. Trust me.
A punch biopsy is simply a little tool that a surgeon will use to take a small tube of skin from my face in this case. Think something like a very small apple corer type of thing. It punches (gently) into the numbed skin and the surgeon takes the sample out to go to the lab. You just get a single small stitch applied and covered over with a sticky plaster and that’s it. It’s minor, it really is, no big deal at all. They say you shouldn’t drive afterwards and you should have someone to take you home, but really I could have driven, I was fine. Better safe than sorry though, eh?
I had to have two samples taken, one from an affected area and one from a clear spot for comparison. Makes good sense doesn’t it? But… There’s always a story to tell with these things isn’t there?
I’d been through the formalities of who I was, sign this, etc with one of the two nurses before the surgeon came in, and they were both very warm, welcoming and informative. Important stuff to us patients. I was asked if I’d taken any aspirin or was on any blood thinning agents such as warfarin. Nope, I was a normie. This turns out to be relevant in a moment as you’ll see.
All was going well. I’d had the procedure explained to me by the surgeon, once she’d picked up my papers and not someone else’s (hah!) and then she asked me to lie back while she applied the anaesthetic to the two locations on my face. First one was just a twitch, the second felt a little uncomfortable though with a hint of a stinging and a moving feeling. It felt a little… different.
After a few moments for the anaesthetic to take effect, the surgeon took the first sample and applied the stitch and sticking plaster. So far so good, felt nothing. Now for the fun bit. Just bear in mind I was in no discomfort or pain at any time, and me being me I wanted to joke and laugh about it as I found it quite funny, but I restrained myself as I heard the concern in the surgeon and nurses voices. And… I couldn’t see what was going on as it was above my eyeline.
It turns out that just by bad luck the surgeon picked a spot with an artery right next to where she took the sample. It sort of went a bit like this.
“Oh. Do you normally bleed this much?” – I couldn’t see how much that was from my position.
“I can’t see but I don’t think so,” I replied.
“Have you taken any aspirin today or are you on blood thinning agents such as warfarin?” and that’s when I wanted to start chuckling as I guessed there was a lot of blood coming out going by the comments like “press this hard here” and the amount of dabbing and cleaning up around the side and back of my head by the two nurses.
“I’ve just touched the edge of an artery,” said the surgeon. I could tell she was annoyed with herself, but that’s life! Stuff happens and I was okay with it. No pain, remember.
“I’m fine, I’m not in any pain,” I said to reassure her.
I do sometimes wonder why I’m so laid back about things. I know I can be a source of frustration for people who sometimes think I don’t get what’s going on or the seriousness of a situation, but I DO understand and just shrug it off. Life is too short, and it’s my way of dealing with stuff. It might even be a left over from my depression years ago, who knows? (I suspect I’ve always been like this.)
So after a few minutes it must have stopped bleeding and she had to put 3 stitches in and said there might be a small scar. “I’ll tell people I was in a knife fight” I said, which seemed like a good idea as I said it, but no-one laughed. That sort of ruined the experience a bit as I was enjoying it all up to then. I swear I don’t get enough attention day to day. Maybe there was more blood than I thought, they’d cleaned it all up by the time I stood up.
I finally left and thanked everybody for their help, and smiled at my wife when I walked out into the waiting room. “She hit an artery,” I said very quietly, “I’m fine,” and off we went.
Mind you, when I got in the car I had to raise my eyebrows and chuckle when I looked in the mirror. One small sticking plaster on the lower sample spot, and one HUGE one where it all went wrong.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so flippant in front of them, they must have been a little concerned. Typical me.
