Frank Haywood

A nice guy, but also some kind of crazy diseased mutant.
A nice guy, but also some kind of crazy diseased mutant.
Two Walks Haywood

Two Walks Haywood

I went for TWO brisk 30 minute walks today.  My regular morning 5:30am walk, and then again about 8:30pm as I felt a bit “buzzy”  and jittery and needed to get outside to walk off some nervous energy.

So that’s good. One hour of brisk walking.  I reckon I’ll probably increase that daily amount over time.  When I was in my teens I used to love to go walking for a few hours.  I can see that all coming back again.  And the nice thing I’ve found is it seems to chill me down when I feel bit jittery as a result maybe of the medication.

If I’m going to go walking twice a day, maybe they’ll start calling me “Two Walks Haywood.”

A bit like this guy.

 

Posted by Frank Haywood in Aside, Exercise
Had A Letter From the Hospital

Had A Letter From the Hospital

Today I received another letter from the Hospital sent to my GP and cc’d to me detailing what I’d discussed with Dr H last week about my condition and planned treatment.

(Also had a bit of a headache earlier this morning. Not one that hurt, just a little bit of tension running through my head. It if continues today I’ll call the hospital and reduce my steroids tomorrow to 55mg, and down to 50 in 2-3 days, just in case.  At the moment my skin is improving quite quickly so maybe I can reduce them now anyway.  I’ll play it by ear and change nothing for now, but it’s on my mind.)

It cleared a couple of things up for me that I must have missed at the time as a lot of thoughts were swirling round my head and there was a lot to take in.  And there was a request to the GP for me to have my flu and pneumonia jabs and also to arrange to take over bone protection medication and also gastro protection to combat the side effects of the steroids (Prednisolone).

The gastro protection I’m currently taking and seems to be fine is Lansoprazole, and I always also make sure I have something to eat when I actually take the steroids.  So my morning routine is take the Lansoprazole, go for a 30-40 minute walk, then when I get back, prepare something like a couple of slices of beans on toast (which I love – thanks mom and dad for getting me onto that as a child) on wholemeal bread, or some porridge which for some reason I’ve never really eaten, but found I like as it comes (unsweetened).  That way I figure I’m getting a double helping of gastro protection from the steroids.  So far, so good.

The bone protection I’ve already started myself 3 weeks ago in the form of some 2x day vitamin D and calcium tablets over the counter from my local pharmacy.  I ain’t dumb.   But Dr H has suggested Adcal D3 or similar which again could be over the counter or a stronger prescription only product.  We’ll see.  I had a quick look online and it seems to be the same as I’m doing now, and I would prefer to be getting this via subscription as I then get it all for one low price with an NHS PPC card for long term prescription medicine users.  It’s a bargain and if you’re in a siimilar position to me, well worth having.

I also had it confirmed that I would be on oral steroids for at least 6 months.  I wasn’t totally sure about that, but the changes that have occurred through being on the higher dose of 60mg in just 6 days have been remarkable.  A noted improvement in my skin and scalp both in terms of redness, soreness, flakiness and just overall feeling and looking better.

Although I’m never going to be happy being on long term steroids, I have an increased hope that I won’t be on them for as long as is currently thought.  Of course this all depends on what happens when they’re tapered down (and hopefully off) and whether I get a flare up.  I accept I may have to find the right balance as other people have done before me, and that I may end up on 5, 10, 15mg or more to keep my condition stable.  But I don’t want ANY and I hope I can drop them by use of steroid sparing agents such as the immunosuppressant MMF or even if I’m very lucky, a mix of Doxycycline (antibiotic) and nicotinamide (vitamin B3).  That would be ideal for me given my condition, and relatively harmless.

My eldest son (20) had his gall bladder and spleen removed in his teens after inheriting Hereditary Spherocytosis from my wife and was plagued with inermittent abdominal pains from about 11 onwards and spent 18 months home schooled when he was 14-15.  He’s all fine now, but without a spleen it means he’ll have to take a small dose (250mg) of Phenoxymethyl-penicillin each day for the rest of his life.  It’s not really necessary to do that and he knows it, so often will “overlook” it for a while until we jolly him up to start taking it again.  Now he knows I’m on immunosuppressants, he’s agreed to start taking his penicillin to help protect me from catching anything he might have otherwise picked up.  A good lad.

While reading through the letter I realised I hadn’t been doing something that I now remember Dr H had told me to do, and that’s to rub the steroid cream (was an ointment, didn’t suit me) into my scalp as well was my face and body.  Okay.  But now the oral steroids seem to be making such a big difference, maybe I won’t bother.

Here’s the important parts of the letter summarised and edited by me.


Diagnosis:
Pemphigus Foliaceous

Treatment:
1. Prednisolone increased to 60mg daily for four weeks, then 55mg daily until review in clinic.
2. Mycophenolate mofetil initiated 500mg daily for one week 500mg twice daily for a week, 500mg three times a day for a week, then 500mg four times a day until clinic review (this can be taken in two divided doses).
3. Lansoprazole 15mg daily for gastric protection.
4. Betnovate C cream once daily to the face and twice daily to scalp and torso.
5. Cetraben cream as soap substitute and emollient.
6. T-gel or other coal tar shampoo.

Request to GP:
Please arrange for flu and pneumococcal vaccine when they are available.
Please add in Adcal 03 or other appropriate bone protection.
Please take over prescription for Lansoprazole gastro protection.

Follow Up:
6 weeks with weekly blood tests. The patient has been counselled regarding side-effects of MMF and the need to avoid contact with severe infections.  He should employ careful sun protection whilst on immunosuppression to reduce the risk of skin cancer.  He is aware to report any concerns regarding side-effects, in particular if he gets any indigestion we may need to increase his Lansoprazole.


Yep, that all seems pretty good to me.  Remember that some of this was advised, and some bent to my will at my request, and throughout it all the doctors at the hospital have been brilliant and shown me nothing but concern and care for my well being.

So what has been an initial misfortune for me has turned into damn good luck at getting such a brilliant team of people on my case.  Thank you!

Posted by Frank Haywood in Diet, Pemphigus, Personal
The Steroids Are Working

The Steroids Are Working

The increased dosage of Prednisolone agreed with Doctor H (30mg to 60mg) seems to be working.  My skin seems to be getting better every day and I think it was about Saturday 5th I noticed my face wasn’t so tender and sore to the touch.  This means I can now really work my electric razor in to get at the stubble without it making me wince, which then makes it easier to apply the creams afterwards.  I’m still a little way off using a wet razor though, but my new electric razor is pretty good I’m surprised to say and gives me a close shave.

Still missing my 1/4 inch designer stubble though.  *sigh*

Maybe I’ll be able to grow it back again in a month as at this age I’m at now (57) it quite suits me and also hides any imperfections, of which there have been a lot just recently.

Last night my face which has been purply red up to now seemed to be very calm and a pale pink. Still a little flaky but looking much better.  As you might expect, my scalp is also much clearer and my hair seems to be less tufty.  I think I might have lost a little bit of hair, but WTH, that comes with age anyway doesn’t it?  Still some flaking when I scratch my head, but nowhere near as bad as it was.  Amazing how quickly my body is respondng to the steroids.  I thought it might take much longer than this to see the kind of results I am, so yeah…  I’m pleased.

Something to look forward to as my skin gets better, and at the moment I need things to look forward to more than I’ve ever done.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
Weight 89kg

Weight 89kg

Second day running that I’m 89kg on the bathroom scales so that looks like it’s for real. No bouncing up and down with this, I went straight from 90kg to 89kg and it’s stayed there.  So first target of moving from 95kg to 90kg complete, and now into second target of 85kg.  I’m hoping to achieve that in the next couple of weeks before the family gets back from Australia, but I’d also be happy getting near it.

I’m NOT patting myself on the back here, but I’ve been on the steroids for 3 weeks now and I’ve not really been hungry in that time, and when I have I just grab a coffee or some water and carry on working.  Maybe it’s early days and it will get worse, or maybe it’s my pure bloody minded determination this time round.

When I took Prednisolone in April for a month I wasn’t really bothered about putting back on the weight I’d just lost as I saw it as a temporary thing.  I ate constantly and couldn’t rid myself of the hunger.  Now I’m a little bit more sure I need to drop the weight for good so that’s what I’m focussing on, and I’m eating different foods now, which I have no doubt has helped me. Not having the family here has helped a lot too as I’ve been eating when I’m hungry rather than at mealtimes.  I think the problem is that in the past I’ve eaten when I’m hungry – which I’ve always thought was the right way of doing things – and THEN sat down to eat a meal at dinner.  Sort of doubling up, and that’s where I think has been my downfall.  I can’t wait for the family to come back, but I’m gong to have to keep up this new lifestyle so it will be a minor upheaval I reckon and I’ll have to continue to do my own thing.

It’s a bit hard when you like minced beef and onion pie and chips fro the chipy, and cake and ice cream, not to do that any more.  Or at least greatly reduce it.  No pie for 4 weeks and hardly any chips.  I still let myself have a small apple pie and a bit of ice cream every other day though.

I’ve been mostly eating things like porridge in the mornings, changed from larger sliced white to smaller whole bread slices and limited my consumption of that to no more than 4/day, but usually just a couple of slices.  Luckily for me, I REALLY like baked beans which it turns out don’t have as many calories as you think. So I can help myself to two smaller slices of wholemeal bread toasted and buttered with beans on and I feel really full up afterwards – and I’ve enjoyed the meal.  It was a nurse at my local GP advised me to switch to wholemeal as it takes longer to digest and fills you more.  She also advised me to eat boiled potaoes instead of mash – which I’ve always preferred anyway – and to leave the skins on for extra roughage.  So I’ve been doing that, scrubbing them and boiling them and they’re great.  I haven’t quite worked out how many to put in the pot yet and so tend to do too many, but I then chill any that’s left and occasionally take a bite from the fridge.

I’ve also prepared myself for some “grazing/snacky” food and been eating diced apples, bananas and I have a honeydew melon to slice up.  Also more tomatoes, cucumber, that kind of thing.  But I’ve not been overdoing it on the snacky front, I’ve been pretty damn good really.  I’d be very annoyed with myself if my calorie input went up because of grazing food.  Yeah I’m a bit determined, have I said?

Going for my daily brisk walk in a bit as it helps pump my metabolism up.  Then I’ll shower and go through my daily new cleansing ritual of steroid cream (betamethasone valerate and clioquinal) and Cetraben on my skin.  I like the Cetraben – it’s got paraffin in it and stings for a few moments but then feels great and seems to calm my skin right down.  In fact I’d really like to only use the Cetraben as I can just slather it on as a barrier protection for my skin until it heals.  The steroid cream takes ages to apply and rub in as I have to be careful not to over do it.

It’s early days of taking the immunosuppressant – Mycophenolate MoFetil (MMF) 500mg – just 5 days so far and it takes 4 months to get working properly, but when it does in say a months time I’ll have to avoid the sun or cover up as MMF can cause skin cancers as melanin production (your suntan) is controlled by the immune system.  I’m probably fine at the moment, but it’s on my mind as it’s just gone sunny outside while typing this.

No sign of the upper arm trembles I experienced a couple of days ago, so I was probably correct in my thought that my body was either adjusting to the higher dose of steroids as they settled in, or it was an emotional thing.  Yeah I’ve been a bit emotional about it all.  It will pass I know.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Diet, Personal
Raining Today, But Not In My Heart

Raining Today, But Not In My Heart

There’s one thing about the 60mg steroids I’m taking every day.  One of the positive side-effects in common with many other people is that they actually make me feel pretty good.  Some people get depressed on them, but for me it’s the opposite.  My mind also seems clearer than usual too which some people have described as like having a “brain fog” lifting.  Because steroids reduce inflammation, maybe I’m getting more blood supply to my brain?  Or maybe it’s the exercise too that’s helping?  Whatever, I DO feel good, but having been on 30mg steroids in April, I know there’s a crash when I stop taking them.  That’s okay.  Long experience as a depressive tells me that If you know what it is, you can deal with it.

Honestly I read some of this back and I sound like the most awful mopey person and nothing could be farther from the truth.  I’m usually very upbeat and laid back about most things, even the bad stuff like this.

So anyway, up all night, watched it get lighter and lighter and decided to go for my early morning walk.  Got dressed and walked into the kitchen and I could hear the rain hammering on the utility roof which is tough polycarbonate plastic.  Damn.  If it was a drizzle, no problem but this was really going for it.

Change of plan then.  I knew I needed to get a few bits and pieces in and I was going to do it late to mid-morning as I intended to get my blood tests done early again today.  Half a pint job.  Oh okay, just a few phials.  I know I’ll nip down to Asda, it’s 24 hours and it’s 6.00am should be quiet.  I took my first tablet of the day and went to Asda.  There was just me and the staff there.    I took my time, bought some healthy fruit (bananas, apples, melon), a cucumber, tomatoes, baked beans, wholemeal bread (which I freeze), frozen cod fillets, healthy chips and ice cream.

Then, being a bloke I took a look at the phones and electronics, and grabbed some printer paper and folders, and then…  Bargain!  Dimmable LED light bulbs reduced from £4 each to only £1, so I bought eight, leaving about 4 on the shelf.  Result!

Went home, had some porridge and the rest of my tablets and then made the mistake of relaxing for a bit.  I suddenly realised it was quarter to nine and I wasn’t on my way to the hospital for my tests.  Another “damn!” escaped my lips and I got there at 9:10 with about 30 people in front of me. Oh well, I knew it didn’t take long and sure enough about 20 minutes or so later I was sitting in a chair being drained by a very nice and friendly nurse.  Next week I’ll make sure I get there at 8:50 while it’s still quiet.

So no walk today, other than a stroll around Asda a few times and back and forward across the hospital car park, but yeah today was good.  Those steroids as scary as they are still have me on a high.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
Feeling Better Today

Feeling Better Today

As I knew I would, I feel much better today.  I did another all-nighter, watched dawn spread across the sky, had my gastro protection tablet (Lansoprazole 15mg) and went for a brisk FORTY minute walk, and even had a little jog for about 20 seconds.  That might not sound like much to you, but I got a little bit sweaty and panty and that’s generally good for your health, especially if you’re like me and have lead a largely sedentary lifestyle.  Anything to get my metabolism up and lose some weight as fat is one of the effectors of an imbalanced or broken autoimmune system.  Yes I figure it can’t hurt to turn back the clock on that front and see if I can’t get my system to fix itself.  I have other ideas around that topic, but weight and fitness first.

I hope to take longer and faster walks, and I have my eye on a goal of turning it into a run. Maybe. We’ll see.  One day at a time…

So I got back, and then had my immunosuppressant – Mycophenolate MoFetil (MMF) 500mg – and my own self prescribed 1x day multi-vitamin plus my also self-prescribed bone protection (until my GP tells me what I should be doing – waiting for the letter) which is a 2x day calcium and vitamin D tablet.  It just seems sensible to me to take these vitamins and it can’t hurt as long as I don’t go crazy with them.  Then the 60mg (12x 5mg) of Prednisolone steroid which I have to take at this dose for a month, then start to reduce.  I make sure that I have something to eat with them, and porridge is quite nice, I really enjoy it.  Who would have thought?

Incidentally, porridge is part of my master plan to keep my blood pressure down and reduce cholesterol.  It’s almost magical stuff when you start looking into it and actually start eating it.  Luckily I like it as it comes and don’t need to sweeten it.

The tablets are a pain in the arse and one of my concerns when I was younger and healthier was that I’d have to take one tablet for this, and then another tablet to fix the side-effects of that one, and then another tablet for that, and so on.  And holy hell, that’s exactly what I’ve ended up doing.  FML.  But better than having your skin go bad, get infected and then kill you.  Right?

So right now I’m getting used to my new routine.  Take a tablet, go for an early morning walk, have something to eat and take the rest of my tablets.  Like a good boy.

And…  I quite like this night time / day time reversal lifestyle.  It really suits me and I feel much more comfortable working all night, listening to new music from Spotify and then grabbing a few hours sleep during the day.  It feels right.  It feels like I should have always done this, but never had any chance but to comply with the rest of the world.  It’s good.

Of course when the family get back from Australia, I may have to modify that behaviour in some way, but for now it’s very enjoyable.

As a final aside, I seemed to be bursting with nervous energy today, and got the slight trembles in my upper arms, while my hands remained rock steady.  Strange.  Probably my body adjusting to the additional dose of steroids, or maybe a bit of an emotional reaction.  Either way I’m not worried but I’ll keep an eye on it.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
Coming To Terms

Coming To Terms

Today has not been a good day in terms of my Pemphigus. I think I’ve been coming to terms with it as when you’re diagnosed with something like this you just don’t know enough to understand what it actually all means. I mean, I’m not a dummy… I understood what I was told and I understand it’s chronic, ie incurable, but I sort of can’t accept that yet. In fact I may never do so, I’m like that – I get a good idea and then I get driven to implement it. And I have a few ideas that need airing on this whole topic – there are relatively new discoveries about the immune system, and I’ll be investigating and implementing them one way or another.

I understand the condition. I’ve done research based on what I was initially told by the diagnosing doctor – who is lovely by the way, and I’m really glad she’s on my case – but I find it very difficult to believe this is my life now. Suddenly. Yeah, I know as well as anyone that life kicks you from time to time, but you fix it – well I always have done. I think I’ll be permanently in a state of “I can fix this” and I’ll never accept totally what I’m being told. That’s who I am.

So. I’m missing my family who are still in Australia – I’m VERY happy they’re happy doing it, and I wouldn’t have changed that even if I’d been diagnosed before they went away. It makes me happy to think they’re having a good time, it REALLY does. And they’ll be back soon enough in a couple of weeks, so all is good on that front.

But the whole thing about taking steroids possibly for the rest of my life scares me shitless. I’ve already pretty much decided I’m probably not going to take them indefinitely, as to me, the potential fucking up of my quality of life through use of them doesn’t outweigh my non-existence. And it’s THAT I’ve been coming to terms with. We all have to die sometime, I just don’t want to die inside years before my body does. I would rather be remembered as a better person (in some way).

In my particular case this is linked to the fact that I had depression nearly 20 years ago and while it’s all dealt with and I’m a happy bunny again (no drugs, just Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for me) you never really get past it. It’s still there, I just deal with it when it raises it’s head. I’m as good as I’ll ever and always be on that front and I know however I feel at that moment will pass.

But this is a little bit different. It’s not just in my head this time and on the face of it I can’t control it – that’s what I can’t accept. I’m not a control freak (I think), but this is something I supposedly have no control over and I just can’t take that.

Which all means I’ve been coming to terms with some things I have to do now, unplanned (that’s a bit annoying, heh), and also some not quite decisions made. Some I can only make with my wife as it wouldn’t be fair to make them on my own. We’re a tight partnership who have got through some life together and that’s the way we work.

In all, not a good day then but tomorrow’s tomorrow.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
New Drugs Regime

New Drugs Regime

Today I took my first step onto the new drugs regime, moving from 30mg of steroids (Prednisolone) up to 60mg.  I’ve been taking the 30mg for 2 weeks and all that dose seems to do is keep me in a holding pattern, so I’m hoping this double the dose will actually start to do things to help.  In a month it gets reduced to 55mg and then reviewed in clinic.

I also started taking the Mycophenolate Mofetil (MMF) of 500mg once per day initially.  This is an immunosuppressant that is normally given to transplant patients so that their bodies don’t reject the transplanted organ.  It works by suppressing the immune system, and at the moment that’s what needs to happen to me to get my skin back to normal again instead of the angry red sheet of patchy flaky open wound horribleness that it is.

Next Friday I up the dose of MMF to twice daily, then the week after to 2 in the morning and 1 in the evening, and then finally and thereafter – 2 morning and 2 evening at a total daily dose of 2000mg.

It then takes around another 3 months after that (4 months altogether from today) to reach full efficiency.  While that’s all going on I’ll still be taking (hopefully) reduced doses of steroids and hoping that the MMF takes over and can stop my immune system from attacking my skin.  Everybody is different and it’s a case of “suck it and see” to find out what works for them, and that’s where I am for the next few months.

Once my immune system is being well and truly suppressed then apart from my skin clearing up, then of course I’ll also be very susceptible to infection.  I have to avoid the bad stuff like hepatitis, TB, and all the nasties that small children get such as chicken pox and so on.  Normally my system is immune to those things now, but not if it’s turned off.

I’ve talked to my wife about handling this if her or the kids bring stuff home (all at 4 different places, school, college, work) and how I can live here at home without being put at risk.  “Man cave!” she said.  That means maybe us doing some work in the garage and turning it into a room for me where I can be away from any possible risk.  I’m good with that apart from the cost.  I guess I could do it myself although me and DIY don’t mix.  And I guess I need to do it sooner rather than later while I can at least be okay (happy) with going to DIY stores and mixing with the great unwashed public.  It’s all normal commonplace stuff like going out and handling money that I have to be concerned about now.

And at this moment in time, I’m not sure what will happen if I do catch something silly like a cold.  Would it be enough to finish me off?  Will I end up hospitalised in ICU?  It’s possible I guess.  Another question to be asked at my next appointment.

At any rate, I also have to have my annual flu jab, which I’ve been doing routinely for a few years now as I always seemed to get flu every single year and I don’t know why I didn’t start doing it earlier.  It’s dead virus so it’s safe for me to have.  Anyone can go get a flu jab from their local pharmacy now, and it’s cheap – under a tenner in the UK – so you just should and save yourself from some misery later.  It works!

Also I found out that there’s a pneumonia jab, which I didn’t even know existed.  When you’re weakened by something else, good old pneumonia will step in and quickly finish you off.  So yeah, dead virus again and I’ll take some of that if it’s available to me.  Maybe it’s not available to the general public and only given to cases like mine?  I’ll find out.

And of course both of these jabs then raise another question I’ll need answering.  If your immune system produces antibodies to the dead virus to protect you… and your immune system is off or greatly reduced… then does it actually produce the antibodies?  Have I missed something here?  Maybe my suppressed system will just be that.  Suppressed and not actually off altogether.  I need to ask.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
Upping The Ante

Upping The Ante

So I decided I coudn’t quite start taking the extra steroids today. 30mg up to 60mg per day. My idea, I asked for it, I just want to think a little longer before I do.

Logically I know it’s the right thing to do, but emotionally it’s a big step.  A few years ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel and all he could do to alleviate his problem was take steroids for a short time but then after stopping, his problem would soon come back again – the doctor wouldn’t let him take them for mny longer because of the dangers.  He told me at the time it was scary because of the possible side-effects and he couldn’t take them for long, but his predicament has always stuck with me.

Me being told by my doctor that I might have to permanently take them without break isn’t great news is it?

It boils down to take these and suffer the possible consequences or definitely die of an infection later.

So I’m going to take them, I have made that decision, I just need another day.

But I don’t intend on taking them indefinitely, whatever the outcome.  I will wean myself off them and onto a steroid sparing agent such as Mycophenolate Mofetil (MMF) or better still if my body will take it, onto antiobiotics and vitamin B3.

FML.

But there are people who are far worse off than me, and you know what?  I was bound to suffer something like this as I got older, I just wasn’t quite ready for something as I now find it, as serious as this.  There are worse things I’d rather not have though, so you know…  Result.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal
Decision Time

Decision Time

Today was my appointment with my dermatology consultant Dr H at 12:30.  This appointment was all about the way ahead and I’d been doing some thinking so I sort of knew where it was going before we started.  First she examined me and there was no real change.  The 30mg Prednosolone steroids were doing the same thing as they did when I had this dose in April, issued by my GP before I was diagnosed with Pemphigus Foliaceous (PF) – they were just keeping me in a holding pattern with maybe a little improvement but not much, and I knew something had to change dramatically if I was going to stand a chance of getting back to “normal.”

She went through the letter I’d written and confirmed everything I’d put down as my understanding of my condition and the way ahead.  She said she’d never had a patient do that before and she was impressed (I thanked her) and I think I piqued her curiosity as I know I look quite unassuming and unremarkable.

But it’s what goes on inside your head isn’t it?  And what you’re actually capable of that people don’t know when they first meet you, and long experience has told me that people nearly always underestimate me based on my appearance.  I’m short at 5′ 4″ (possibly less now I’m older – we all shrink a bit) and you will typically find me in shorts and a t-shirt at home all the year round, and when I’m out and about I’m never more comfortable than in a pair of jeans and a criss-cross tablecloth patterned shirt of some kind with some comfy thick socks and soft suede shoes or boots.  And I’m about 20kg overweight with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of fat bastard.  I’m working on that.

If you need to read more about me and what I’m capable of, you can do so here.

Back to the appointment.  I was keen to get off the steroids ASAP and I let her know this.  It’s having these discussions is when you start learning the real important stuff, and go away with a whole pile of questions spinning around in your head to go and research.  You might have realised by my description of part of my working life on the link above, I’m GOOD at research, it’s one of the things I do really well.

Something we’d discussed in the previous appointment two weeks earlier was the use of “steroid sparing agents” such as Mycophenolate Mofetil which is an immunosuppressant drug given to transplant patients to stop their own immune system from rejecting the donor organ.  Another scary drug as long term use can cause cancer, but not as scary as steroids in my opinion.  I was told there are others less severe such as antibiotics and vitamin B3 but it depends on how well I respond to them.  (I’m thinking about that and have some things I want to try, more at a later date.)

Because this is the crux of it all.  My own autoimmune system is broken or imbalanced and is attacking my own skin.  This is supposed to be chronic and incurable, but I have yet to be convinced of that and I’m not the kind of person to give up just like that.

First line of treatment in cases like mine are steroids.  They’re the most effective in the shortest amount of time.  So even though they scare the crap out of me at what they’re doing to future Frank’s body (and future Frank NEEDS that body in good working order), I know that right now it’s what I need, so I at first suggested I start on the MMF (Mycophenolate Mofetil) and drop the steroids.

Can’t do that.  It turns out that MMF can take 4 months to reach full effectiveness.  I have to take the steroids while they kick in and then hope I can stop the steroids.  Crap.

Me being me, logical and always thinking one step ahead (like a carpenter), I decided there and then that what I needed was to double my dose of steroids.  I’d already researched and found that up to 100mg / day was sometimes prescribed, but even to me that seemed a little high so I suggested 60mg.  That scared Dr H and she said she’d be willing to go as high as 40mg but she’d need another Doctor to hold her hand on any higher and so she went off to fetch Dr Hegarty (?) – I hope I’ve got his name right, there was a lot swirling round my mind at this point. I’ll correct this later when I can confirm.

He took a look at my notes and recent blood test results, then looked at me and appraised me.  He said words along the lines of “I think you’re right Mr Haywood.  I’ve seen PF before and found the best way to treat it to normalise the patient is to hit it hard with steroids to begin with and then gradually dial it all back until we find the right balance.  Let’s go for 60mg of Prednisolone while we build up the MMF into your system.  You’re overweight but otherwise in good condition with no previous medical issues at all and apart from the PF you’re normal.  It looks good to do it and we’ll monitor your bloods weekly to keep an eye on you.”

Dr H was already sorting out the blood test forms and writing the dosages out for me and writing the prescriptions.  They’re THAT good and I’m so glad they have my back.

Then I went through the urine sample, weight and blood pressure.  Weight was down from last time as I already knew, and so was my blood pressure, something like 128/82 which is perfectly normal.  Thanks to exercise and porridge mainly (I’ve got it down like that before), and beans on wholemeal toast.  In other words, just doing the right things.

So I think I’m okay with this.  As far as I’m concerned the high doses of steroids are temporary.  A few weeks, 3-4 months while the MMF takes over.  That’s my hope and plan.  In the meantime, I’m eating better food (on the whole) and consuming less calories, exercising, and losing weight when both doctors told me I wouldn’t be able to as the steroids would prevent me, keeping me hungry and making me want to eat.

But I have willpower.  I want to get well.  I want to be rid of this incurable disease.  I will attempt to do it through medical science with drugs and massive changes to my lifestyle.

I firmly believe that fat is one of the contributing factors because… guess what?  Fat is one of the things that intereferes with the normal function of the autoimmune system and can cause it to break as in my case.  Studies in 2016 found a biochemical link that I need to do more research on to understand properly, but at first reading it looks like researchers have discovered there’s a mechanism that turns OFF the immune system at the correct and appropriate time (biochemistry) and an imbalance can be caused in some circumstances that prevent this normal inhibiting factor.  It’s believed there’s a relationship that means that this is true not just of PF, but could also be true of ALL autoimmune problems from arthritis to Multiple Sclerosis.

There’s hope for a lot of people if their conclusions are correct.

I could be barking up the wrong tree, but right now I believe (I HAVE to believe) that I can put my body into a state where my immune system can regain its balance and correct itself.  So I’m working at that with a double pronged attack.  Drugs to begin with.  While they’re having their way with my system, I will lose weight and become fit.  And while that’s happening I’ll be researching a possible therapy which I will then have to sell to my Doctors and possibly the local NHS Trust if I think it sounds viable.

I will post it all here.

Posted by Frank Haywood in Pemphigus, Personal